Pain in Joy
Curiosity is my own worst best enemy friend in kink. I say no out of habit to new things if they seem scary. But if it is someone I know, like, trust, enjoy, I never stop there. My brain processes Continue reading Pain in Joy
Category Archives: S&M
Naked in the Woods with a Flogger
Pack a bag, put in at least four hanks of rope and three toys you want to play with tonight. I picked the toy bag without the shoulder strap because it was easier to empty out and refill than the Continue reading Naked in the Woods with a Flogger
Just Breathe
I like pain. I like nipple clamps. I like kneeling for him. But I’m 42 years old and have been living, like you, through a pandemic for the last three years. My body is no longer in the “doing kinky Continue reading Just Breathe
Negotiation
I usually say to Him: no hospital, jail, nor morgue. We tease that I have “no limits” with Him, or that He has “taken them all away.” But it’s not actually true. I don’t generally approve of things like forced Continue reading Negotiation
Old Words and A Violent Birthday
Woke up early to clean and shop. A bundle of nerves, but no expectations. We’ll just hang out, have some food, and see where things go. He seems agreeable to some type of violence, and eager, even. As eager as Continue reading Old Words and A Violent Birthday
A Second Pandemic Birthday
My birthday is coming up again this weekend. Last year, I made cupcakes and brownies to drop off on porches of some of my friends. This year, with vaccines and variants spreading unequally through the community, I’m having a very Continue reading A Second Pandemic Birthday
Violent Urges
I’ve put myself in a weird headspace this week. As a masochistic bottom with rape fantasies, I have a lot of shame voices in my head. I have worked really hard to shut them up and lock them away. I Continue reading Violent Urges
Fear and Control
I was commenting the other day that most things on my soft limits are there due to the loud noise they make. And that I have to trust someone first. On late night reflection, this seemed an odd way to Continue reading Fear and Control
Remembering Who I Am
I was a young girl, confused by her own arousal. Making up stories of being kidnapped, and not sure why. I was a college girl, innocent of boys. Until he taught me to kiss. And he taught me to bite. Continue reading Remembering Who I Am
The Painful Edge
I never know what I’m going to get with the lover. Even when we were together, he could surprise me. With my own pain. Stubbornness. Surrender. Each time we have played since then has built upon a once broken foundation. Continue reading The Painful Edge