Mental Limit

Thinking about limits again because He asked.

I’ve been in therapy for years now because of self esteem, communication, and depression issues. I am very good at tearing myself down, not feeling worthy, not standing up for myself, and letting myself spiral into despair, or worse, apathy.

What does this have to do with limits? Emotional masochism. Long time readers of this blog know that He and I took a journey into objectification and degradation a very long time ago. It did not go well. My brain treats myself like shit enough, that when we did it in play, I took those things on as truth about myself. It was hard to come back from.

So, since then, degradation and humiliation has been off the table. This morning, I can’t sleep for Supreme Court reasons, and my brain has been all over the place, including high school. It’s too much to explain. The end result being, putting into better words this limit:

Sexual humiliation (bad girl, naughty, slut, wanton): Good.
Personal degradation of my worth as a contributing human being (useless, worthless, stupid, incompetent): Bad.