I was asked recently what I would not offer freely. This got me to thinking about my limits. I had not explored them seriously in quite some time. Just random comments of, “no red,” or “you know that’s a hard limit” when things came up. Back when Husband and I first entered the community, I did a lot with lists. Filled out fetish lists, filled out like/dislike/limits lists. But it had been quite a while since I seriously visited the topic, and limits do change over time. My partners have challenged my limits, poking them gently here and there, never Leaping over the line, just prodding it until they made a hole to slip through. Or, in a couple cases, waiting until I changed my mind and Asked to try something.
So I now have three lists. Current Hard Limits, acknowledging that things do change. Previously Hard Limits that have been pushed to Soft Limits, acknowledging that these are still tricky ground, and often partner specific. And a very short Soft Limits list of two things I didn’t know enough to have put on my Hard Limits list in the first place.
Current Hard Limits
Children
Age Play/Infantilism
Animals(yes, this includes snakes)
Furry Play
Shit
Piss
Puke
Blood (except for sex during menstruation)
Needles/Staples
Hooks/Piercings
Cutting of the skin (does not include scraping/scratching or breaking from impact play)
Medical Play (specifically enemas, sounds, catheters)
Removal of my pubic hair
Branding
Bull whips (longer than 4 feet)
Significant Facial Impact (smacking, hitting, punching, etc)
Unsafe sex
Public sex (more than two other people present)
Willfully Breaking the Law (only exception is private play in a public area where there is reasonable safety of not being caught, (i.e. sex after dark in a car or park))
Humiliation Play
Previously Hard Limits that have been pushed to Soft Limits
Breath play
Ball gags
Grabbing by the throat
Gentle face slapping
Uncle
Single Tails(under 4 feet)
Dragon Tails
Sex while menstruating
Anal
Soft Limits
Essential Flavored Oils
Diet/Food Control
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