January 10th, 2011
What are your hard limits?
My hard limits list post was made in November of 2009. I have shared it with friends and partners over the months. It has been used as a checklist by some and a guide for others. It has been held up as an example and read many times over.
I was considering this post over the last few days, wondering how things had changed, if they had, or if it was just, ever and always, partner specific. Looking over that list, there’s not a single thing on there that I would consider doing with someone I just met, someone I’d never played with, or someone I did not have some sort of established kink or romantic relationship with. That’s what limits are, after all. Things you will not do.
On the other hand, there are things on those lists that I do or consider doing, with my current partners. The middle list, things that are soft because one partner or another may do them, has expanded now and many of those things have become things I enjoy or am really turned on by, with the partner I have explored them with. There are things in the top, hard limits, section, that I have offered him, though we have not acted on many of those offers.
Limits lists are never done, never fully complete, and may depend on the partner in question. So what are my hard limits? Take a look.