“Do you want to go a round?” “Yes.” He had the jute in his hand and on his belt. He let me smell it, natural smell – not hemp, but not synthetic or horses, either. Holding it, he looked me Continue reading Jute, Nipple Clamps & Tears
I had a stray thought today, of putting all my writings, emails and musings from the past three months into a book and titling it Broken. That is not to say that things are fixed, but just my way of Continue reading Putting Humpty Together Again
Phobia – an irrational, intense and persistent fear. I have three. Two have been tested recently. The third, needles, I am still working towards. Sparklers were used in the most recent scene. A snake was used some weeks ago. I Continue reading Facing My Fears
I posted to the blog my mother reads today, listing what these past thirty years have gotten me. One of the listings was “A wonderful husband.” I had the urge to continue that line with “and two amazing boyfriends.” That Continue reading 30th Birthday Ruminations
My mentor recently ordered Complete Shibari Land and Complete Shibari Sky by Douglas Kent. After looking at them, let me just say they are gorgeous. Full of clear color photographs of knots, ties, suspensions and beautiful art. He lets the Continue reading Complete Shibari: Land and Sky
Forty posts and four hundred tags. I like those numbers, nice and round. I couldn’t think of anything to post earlier today because I didn’t want to change those numbers. They looked nice and comforting to me. It’s the end Continue reading Sexy Numbers
Late post, sorry, busy busy life. I was asked last night, why do I let him do certain things to me. Aside from the obvious, because I like those things, because I do not always “Like” the particular thing (Dragon’s Continue reading Why do you do the things you do? Why do you do these things? ~Aldonza
There was a recent discussion that masochists aren’t into “pain” they are into intense sensations. Based on the fact that we don’t get off on just any pain we suffer. Stubbing a toe, chronic pain, headaches, sore throats are all Continue reading Processing Intense Sensations
I helped a couple friends create scenes this weekend, and participated slightly in other informal scenes. Mostly I wandered around watching, being the voyeur. The first night I did not play at all. I just blinked at people reaching out Continue reading Public Play, Part Two
Some days, I suffer to please him. Some days, his darkness needs fed. Even in that darkness, he needs reassurance. Needs to know that it isn’t driving me away. In that darkness, I know that he still loves me, that Continue reading Suffering