I was commenting the other day that most things on my soft limits are there due to the loud noise they make. And that I have to trust someone first. On late night reflection, this seemed an odd way to phrase it, so I looked closer at my brain. What else do you do at one am after a Marvel movie marathon?
It isn’t the noise, it’s the fear. I love fear play. But the things I’m actually scared of, those are easy buttons. I can’t allow someone to use the easy buttons unless I know I can trust them. Unless I know how they handle my fear.
If you can dig into my brain, on your own, using your own tools. Your words, your actions, pain, pleasure. If you can push me into a fear response, and control it. Control yourself, and me. Then we can talk about those other things.
Things that push me over the edge. Loud noises that make me twitch. Stun guns that make me cry. Phobias that send me running. These things drastically reduce my control, so I have to know I can give that up to you before we go there.
Stick around long enough, and my limits fall away to a spare, but non-negotiable few. It’s all about Trust.
