All the Ideas

I keep having all these thoughts about what to blog about when I’m not sitting at the computer nor able to write them down. Then it is several days before I get to a place where I have the time to blog, and I’ve forgotten what I wanted to write about, or I’ve lost the spark of the idea.

Ideas I can remember having lately:

• lupaste – the wolf in me honors the wolf in you

I am not an alpha, don’t want to be an alpha, or is that just fear? I like being the beta, not in charge, but able to help, and step up temporarily when needed. I am the support staff to his leadership. And I like it that way.

• Animal attraction – monkey brain just doesn’t listen

Is there someone in your life, that while a relationship never worked, or would not work – but that it takes real conscious focus to avoid curling up naked with? Who, when left alone with, you forget the rest of the world, if you’re not careful? Where the physical attraction is blinding to consequences? An addiction that never goes away.

• body hair – natural, trimmed, shaved, or waxed

Why is important? Why do people care what others do? Why do we put hot wax on our tender bits and then rip the hair out by the roots? Who decided that was the thing to do?

• Poly – labels and primaries and secondaries and time and money and commitment

Change is a constant, we like to say. Relationships change over time, people change over time, priorities change over time. There is so much grief in trying to hold anything in a static state. With placing a label on something in the hopes that it won’t ever change. But we are always changing, always growing, and the labels don’t have to define you. You can define them.

• Fear in new relationships –

So much fear involved when a new relationship starts – fear of replacement, fear of not being accepted, fear of being accepted and then rejected. Fear of unequal interest. But it is so worth stepping through the fear. Accepting your feelings and going forward anyway. Love is worth some pain, even if you’re not a masochist.

• Spanking – it’s not about the pain

I’ve had this conversation several times in the last few months. Yes, I’m a masochist. Yes, I like intense sensation. Yes, I like hard and heavy spankings. But that’s not the only thing that turns me on about spanking. Spankings for me are a huge Mental turn on. The Idea turns me on. Thinking about being spanked, thinking about being naughty and therefore spanked. It’s the naughty schoolgirl fantasy that turns me on. It’s that fantasy that I masturbate to – I don’t spank myself, I just imagine about it. Sometimes part of the fantasy includes imagining telling someone about it, and that turns me on just as much. So, yes, if you smack my ass because I’m being naughty, it will turn me on no matter how hard or light you hit my ass.