December 30th, 2009
Forty posts and four hundred tags. I like those numbers, nice and round. I couldn’t think of anything to post earlier today because I didn’t want to change those numbers. They looked nice and comforting to me. It’s the end of the year, and I’ve only been posting for about seven months, so those numbers look nice and solid.
But what’ve I been posting about?
Looking at tags, my stats tell me I have 11 posts on Rope and Control, 10 on Love, Pain and Suspension, 9 on Bondage and 8 on Sex.
That’s a pretty good summation of things, I’d say, with another 393 tags to give life variety and make it interesting.
My top five(six, because 5th place is a tie) most popular posts are: All orgasms are not created equal (61 views), Foreplay (58 views), Abandoned (57 views), 20 Hard Limits (43 views), Fear (42 views) and Just For Him (42 views). My bottom five(again, six because fifth is a tie) least viewed posts are: Labels (1), A Closed Door (3), Flying Again (3), Processing Intense Sensations (3), Power Dynamics (4) and Welcome (4).
My biggest day was November 3rd, with 41 page views. Which helped make November my busiest month, coming in at 283 views.
Have I mentioned yet that I like numbers? They’re just so delicious. And when I press the publish button, most of these numbers will go up again.
So it has been a good year for me and I look forward to 2010 to have even more fun and connect with more people and discover new things. I hope you stick around for the ride, I’d love to hear from you.
October 14th, 2009
I have different power dynamics in my life, different relationship dynamics, and different energy dynamics. How do people manage these things in a poly lifestyle?
My answer is separation. I don’t know if it’s a good answer, and it certainly causes strain sometimes. I try to keep my interactions with my partners separate. I spend time with them apart from the others. If two or more are in the same place, at the same event, I try to make sure that one is occupied before playing with the other. I do this in reverse as well, I try not to interfere when one of my partners is playing with another of his partners. Though, this too, sometimes causes upset, if communication is not clear.
I talk about the differences in my partners often in this blog. But recently I was thinking about it very specifically, because it was the Energy mixing I was trying to avoid at a particular regular event. I was trying to figure out how to explain it to them, and this is what I came up with to describe the three different relationships.
1) Husband: Master/slave dynamic, Romantic/Forever Love energy
2)Lover: Top/bottom dynamic, High sexual energy
3)Mentor: Dom/sub dynamic, Intense playful energy
I find these different dynamics difficult to balance if my partners are in the same place, wanting attention at the same time. My husband/Master comes first in such situations, but I feel neglectful of my other relationships if he monopolizes my time. So, I choose to keep them as separate as possible, and divide my time as best as I can manage.
Poly is about time management, they tell me. I do my best, but in this busy world, sometimes I wander in the wrong direction and stumble. They love me, though, and pick me back up, and we find a new path. It’s never perfect, but we try to keep moving forward the best we can.