Try Love, Not Anger

I read a post by a good friend of mine today, and it raised two topics in my mind, (one I have posted on before). Today’s post was about not taking things personally when people ask questions about your lifestyle choices. My favorite section of the post was:

“Everyone has their own stories, their own experiences, their own truths, and their own filters that they view the world through…why get angry because someone didn’t ask something in the right way? Or assumed something? Or had a wrong definition? Are you angry because you are truly angry? Or because you’ve read an article that says you should be angry if someone asks you insensitive questions.”

With all the political correctness going around, we tend towards offense if questions are asked in an insensitive way, or asked based on incorrect assumptions. She suggests that one not take it personally, but rather as a chance to share one’s truth. I think this is a great outlook, and a good way to face a critical world.

• “Why aren’t you happy with just one partner?” Well, I am happy with one partner, but I am also happy when I have two.
• “Aren’t you cheating on both of them if you have two partners?” No, in fact, they are both fully aware of each other and supportive of my relationships with each other.
• “How could you let him do that to you?” We only do what we have both agreed and consented to do. These are things we both enjoy, is there a particular scene or interaction you did not understand?

People’s questions are not about you. They are about misunderstandings, about the person’s own beliefs and stories, the way they view the world. If you take offense and don’t take the time to think about why they asked the question, you’ll just perpetuate their misunderstandings, beliefs, and stories. So, next time you are offended by a question, try to take a breath, and answer with love and sharing, instead of anger.