Social Ramblings

350 posts. No wonder I had to keep myself from writing my first grad school paper like a blog post. Eesh, that’s a lot of blogging, and this is only one of the three blogs (plus one currently dormant), that I write. As I skim through my spam folder, I keep wondering about locking comments on old posts, but then I get into the question of where to draw the line. And what about someone who stumbles across a post and it moves them? So, I don’t, and Akismet keeps plugging away. Over 20K spam messages blocked so far. But I still have to check the queue, because e[lust] pingbacks end up there every now and then, thanks to all the links. I’m still terrible at Twitter posting. I hardly ever post more than my blog link of the week. I find my lack of social (networking) skills disturbing sometimes, though it is no surprise.

Close friends are hard to come by, for me. I grew up moving ever few years, so I don’t have any “childhood friends.” The furthest my friendships go back is to age 11, and that’s just one person I still associate with. At 13 and 14, I picked up one more friend each that I still talk to today. It wasn’t until I was in college that I started forming more long-term friendships. And they are scattered to the winds now. Fortunately, I’m better at Facebook than Twitter.

There are a lot of folks in town who I consider friends these days. My gaming friends, a couple college friends, my kink friends, my fleet friends. All in their nice neat little boxes, though the latter two groups have cross-over. But, close friends? I seem to stick to my poly-cules. So, when break-ups happened, some friendships have died. I regret these loses, but just as I struggle to make new friends, I often haven’t a clue how to repair the damages, or if it is possible, or desirable. So, I try to reach outside the “safety” of the poly-cule, without getting dragged into the whirlpools of drama. But, I don’t have a lot of extra time, even less-so with school now and holiday hours soon. And as stress increases, my cynicism grows and my patience decreases.

I wouldn’t want to be around me when I’m cranky, so I don’t expect anyone else to either. So, this starts with me. Reducing stress, finding calm and happiness. Taking care of myself and my happiness, so I am someone others want to be around. I have a lot of events coming up over the next three months, with a lot of friends. It isn’t about putting on a happy-face, it’s about Being happy, and having joy in my life.