Talk about something within kink/BDSM that you’re curious about/don’t understand.
I don’t understand you (I don’t understand you)
I just don’t understand you (I don’t understand you)
I don’t understand the things you say
I can’t understand a single word
I don’t understand you (I don’t understand you)
I just don’t understand you (I don’t understand you)
I cannot understand you (I don’t understand you)
I don’t understand you (I don’t understand you)
~They Might Be Giants, Fingertips, Apollo 18
I don’t always understand the other side of the coin. I am grateful that my partners want to do to me the things I like, but I don’t always understand where their enjoyment of it comes from. Sometimes I remember to ask, I must do that more often.
He and I had a recent discussion about how both perspectives are important. That hearing from both the top and the bottom when learning a new skill helps everyone to understand it. This was a very good point, and one I hope to work harder to include in my journey.
My friend and I have this discussion many times. She keeps asking me why I don’t tell someone to “fuck off” when I start getting squirmy during a scene or screech a bit before the nice sounds start. I have the same problem where I can’t figure out why she is ok making people thrash, react and make noises without being touched herself. I even feel selfish many times that someone is playing with me and I’m just letting them. I forget they are having a blast as well. Putting those thoughts and feelings into words can be complicated, but it’s completely worth it :).
I come across this sometimes. Feeling like I’m being demanding or greedy by getting what I want. I have to remember that he’s only doing it because he wants to as well. That he is enjoying it as much as I am, or he wouldn’t be doing it.