How did you discover you were kinky?
I liked strange things. I had odd fantasies. Vampires turned me on. The monster under my bed became a man who wanted to kidnap me or have sex with me. I liked the thought of someone having control over me with just a look. I fantasied about Spot Conlon taking me over his knee for starting a fight on the docks. But I didn’t know what to do with these thoughts, these feelings, as a teenager living at home with religious parents. I couldn’t very well look on the internet for information with my father sitting behind me. I did not have a boyfriend to experiment with in High School. With my friends, I talked about cute boys and kissing, and occasionally whipped cream, but we didn’t talk about our darker fantasies.
In college, my second boyfriend opened me up to accepting that I was kinky, and learning what that meant to me. He liked to bite my neck and play with knives. He had piercings and tattoos and was everything my parents would disapprove of.
So, how did I discover I was kinky? When he asked to bite my neck and I realized I was not alone, that these feelings and thoughts I had were not bad and wrong. That other people felt the same way, were turned on by the same things. Realized I wasn’t just weird and disgusting. I was kinky and it was okay. (I’m not a lumberjack, but that’s okay, too. Silly Monty Python in my head.)
