It’s Not the Uniform

December 28th, 2016

I don’t have a thing for military uniforms or police uniforms, but I do, occasionally find myself attracted to the men who wear them. Sometimes it has nothing to do with their profession, and sometimes it does. It isn’t the uniform, I rarely see them in said uniform. It has more to do with attitude, with the expression of their authority that comes across regardless of what they are wearing. I do have a thing for authority figures. That’s no secret.

Some of my more rare fantasies, that I haven’t indulged in awhile, and I’m not sure I’ve even ever posted about it, were a prisoner fantasies. Both as a military prisoner, or being arrested by a corrupt police officer. Gods, I haven’t even thought about those fantasies in ages. The military prisoner was sometimes an interrogation fantasy (caught spy). Sometimes they were more along the lines of naughty girl offering sexual favors to the authority figure to get out of trouble, like the teacher/school girl fantasies. Other times it was authority figure forcing himself on the hapless prisoner, as a slightly more power exchange-based rapey fantasy. Given all the trouble in the world, military and police, probably explains why I’ve strayed away from those these last few years.

It all comes to mind tonight because of my spiral of thoughts on the way home. The line of it was along being “inappropriately attracted” to a new(ish) cop friend of mine. I was going in a circle around that phrasing. Inappropriate because he has a girlfriend and kids (not sure who mother is), and is not poly. Arguing that being attracted to someone isn’t inappropriate unless you commit inappropriate actions based on that attraction. Then arguing that it isn’t the cop-thing that I’m attracted to, but his whole person – funny, caring, affectionate, geek, etc. When I see that he’s wearing his gun, for example, it kinda freaks me out, and the uniform isn’t especially interesting to me. But it is the air of authority he carries around that is part of the attraction.

Inappropriate or not, my attraction to him makes me feel all awkward around him when interacting out of character (tabletop gaming). He commented, when he saw the Christmas present I gave him, about deserving a hug for it. I really wanted to ask for the hug, but felt super awkward and didn’t, because I “wanted it too much.” (A feeling I think I have posted about before.) He likes giving hugs, too, it wouldn’t actually be weird for him, I’m pretty sure. But I’m over here being all awkward and shy because – attracted. Silly little imp.

Time for bed.

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