Sexy, and I Know It – So What?

October 18th, 2015

I wrote this week: “Full disclosure, in a world where women are treated as sex objects, telling me I’m sexy and turn you on isn’t as reassuring of my value to you as one might think.” Today, I wrote this post, including talking about words of affirmation as a love language. Then I read a post by someone who has a distaste for compliments of physical beauty. I also had conversation recently about sexual harassment and compliments. And was reminded of the West Wing episode where Sam complimented Ainsley and a temp got offended on her behalf.

Communication is complicated.

I enjoy being told I’m sexy and attractive. It’s a nice little boost sometimes. I like to know the people I’m attracted to are attracted to me, too. After all, it’s a bit awkward if they’re not. 😉 As long as someone isn’t being creepy, I don’t mind being told I’m hot, sexy, etc. and usually enjoy it.

But it does not sink deep. I do agree with the FL poster on one point, my physical body is not something I have control of, and so compliments of it only go so far. It is not me, not something I have done anything to create, other than not cutting my hair except for not-often-enough trims in the last seven years. I put no more effort into it than that and proper hygiene. So while I appreciate the compliments, it doesn’t mean as much as being appreciated for my mind and heart. The new boy commented recently, that men are often attracted to physical beauty, while women are often more interested what’s inside. (Yes, this is a generalization, and not the truth of everyone.) I think this correlates.

Another point on being called sexy, or being told I turn on the guy I’m with. It makes me blush, not because I don’t believe it, but because my sexuality is being pointed out, highlighted. What I hear is not ‘you are sexy,’ but ‘you are being actively sexy,” thanks to my upbringing where “good girls don’t act sexy.” Which triggers shyness and embarrassment. Which is also a turn on, sometimes.

Reminded of Polgara, and the description of a woman’s mind being a swirly complicated maze.

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Day Twenty-Eight – Kinky Clothes

January 28th, 2011

How do you dress for kink/BDSM play? What significance does your attire have to you?

I wrote about clothes in the first part of this entry. And about Latex in that one.

Dressing for play is usually about feeling attractive for myself or about making him happy by choosing something he will like. The skirts I wear on an almost daily basis are a sign of my submission to him – my desire to fulfill a request he has given me.

My 30 Days of Kink

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Introverted Social Networking

October 7th, 2010

Blogging, writing, screaming to be noticed – silently. Watching the numbers on the stats graph rise and fall, seeing them fall more often than rise. What am I doing this for? Who and I doing this for? Why? Every Thursday I spend hours staring at the screen, wondering what to write about, wondering how it will be taken, if anyone will even read it, will even care. Last week someone asked to reblog a post I made and I was shocked, especially given the topic. Today I’m at a loss, after spending the afternoon rambling at him over a variety of topics, none of which is “fit to print,” as they say.

I wonder about this blog, this weekly posting on a random topic. A lot of the books I read on blogging suggested posting every day, at least a few times every day, if you really wanted to have a successful blog. I have a hard time getting one post written a week, I couldn’t imagine posting every few hours. Isn’t that what Twitter is for? Let’s not even go into how I don’t even begin to use Twitter correctly. I’m not a social person, an introvert trying to join the social network.

And I’ve got this blog in two different places, splitting my audience between a WordPress sponsored blog and my personal website. It isn’t much of a site really: the blog, a bio and a couple of pictures, but I like the theme better, and some day, maybe I’ll have a book to promote or I might review products in the sidebar. Technically, I’ll have a book to promote come November. The first of my flash fiction pieces is due out the first installment of a year long anthology on October 31st if all goes as planned. They’re looking at publishing three months worth at a time, instead of it all at once.

So what do those social people talk about, those ones who blog all the time, or use twitter correctly? Their lives, details and stories taken directly every day from what they are doing currently or did last night. Sharing far more in depth than a shy anonymous blogger like me would consider safe. Safe? I share a lot of details, and while I say this is anonymous, people who know me could probably figure it out, and I have shared it with people I trust. But to share more, would feel like an invasion of privacy, and not just theirs, but mine as well. I don’t have enough to say to the public at large to fill a blog every day. I hardly ever update my non-kinky Facebook status more than once a week.

I’m not sure why I’m sharing this strange and non-kink related ramble with you, my dear readers, other than to say it’s been a scrambled kind of day. I want to share with you more often, but I don’t know if that’s possible. Though I feel that after this post, I owe you at least one over the weekend, if not a handful of tweets as well.

Let me leave you with these thoughts. Winter is coming, I need stockings and a warm coat. It’s hard being sexy when your teeth are chattering. And no one in his right mind is going to offer his cock to distract and warm you if it looks like you’re going to bite it off involuntarily.

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Latex Fetish

August 19th, 2010

He likes latex, more than likes, drools over, pets, strokes, enjoys latex. We have window shopped latex for months. Last month, for my birthday, I bought three pieces (thanks Mom and Dad, and just keep thinking I bought work pants, okay?) – hot pants, a skirt a tank top with molded breasts. I wore the hot pants first, they were quite a hit, literally (wonderful spankings ensued). Latex makes a Lovely noise when smacked. The following weekend, the skirt and tank top. The skirt fits great, except I think I have it up a little too high, I have to fold or roll the top bit down just a little (but more wonderful spankings, and the air pocket added to the fun noises). More experimenting to figure out the best fit. The tank top… well, let’s just say, my breasts are not that shape and my torso not quite that long, so it was fairly awkward, though still quite shiny.

I had to learn a bit about latex care for these new items. Never having worried all that much about taking care of my clothes before, latex requires a bit of attention. I read up online and asked friends for suggestions. Ultimately, I went out and bought baby powder, baby shampoo and a silicone based lube. The baby powder helps in putting them on and staying comfortable in them as well as keeping them from sticking together when I store them. The baby shampoo was the recommended “mild soap” to wash them after wear and has worked quite well. The lube is used to shine them up once they’re on me. Being new to the latex fetish, I did not realize that it was generally dull, unless actively shined. The first two times they were worn, I shined them up with a soft cloth as one site suggested. But the third time, this past weekend, the skirt was just not shiny enough for him. So he told me to do it again, and when he saw I had a cloth, I could just about hear his eyes roll. “Use your hands.” I put the lube on my hands and rubbed it in for a Much better shine. As he pointed out, the cloth was absorbing more than it was transferring.

So, what’s next? I have come to really enjoy latex myself. He was right that I bought it for him and my gift was his happiness (the spankings are a good benefit, too). But I’m finding that I really enjoy wearing it. It makes me feel… shiny and sexy. I’m (window) shopping for more latex. I want more than just black for certain, but also more types of pieces. My first priority is a red (non-molded) top to go with the black bottom pieces. I am also thinking about gloves, though that might be tricky, I wouldn’t be able to do electric scenes wearing them. Stockings. I keep being told I need to get stockings. Right after which I’m told I need more appropriate footwear – high heels or shinier boots. So, having no fashion sense whatsoever, I’m thinking of: black high heels, red stockings, black skirt, red top, black gloves. Also, having no extra cash flow, this is just a dream for now, but it will hopefully become simply a goal in the near future. Then, on to other colors of the rainbow, or at least purple and blue.

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