May 27th, 2012
What am I curious about? Am I scared, intrigued, confused, aroused?
Needle Play – scared. Needles make me hyperventilate and pass out. But I want to know what it feels like. I want to do it without panicing so badly. I’m not sure I can.
Breath Play – intrigued. I’ve only done little bits of it. Partly because of my throat. And partially because of my dislike of gags. But I’m curious what it would actually be like to play with.
Whips – scared/aroused. I’ve always had a length limit on my hard limits. Terrified of the long, loud whips. I’ve only played with an old short signal whip and dragontails. I’m scared of longer ones, or better ones, but I really want to get him one.
Waterboarding – scared/intrigued. I don’t like water up my nose. I don’t swim properly without a nose plug. So not interested in the inverted pouring water over the face so it goes into the nasal cavity. But I’m Really curious about the pillow case/sheet over the head while sitting upright and water being poured down over the head, type.
Hot Wax – intrigued. Have only done it once, on the bottoms of my feet while suspended. Quite curious what it would feel like in other places.
Boot licking – intrigued/scared. I’ve still not done it. After the class at COPE, I got curious, but I’m still kinda embarrassed by wanting to. And when I do his boots, I’d rather do it before I grease them, but usually it doesn’t seem appropriate to stop halfway through to lick them after I just cleaned them.
Water box – intrigued. Every time he mentions it, I want to try it. Then his mind wanders into other uses for such a box and I want to hide. Terrible, wonderful imagination, that one.
Anal play – scared/confused/aroused. This one’s an odd area for me. No good experiences with anal sex. So not really interested in that so much. But mild stimulation Sounds interesting, but I’ve not really had that confirmed in any way but the power exchange. I like my ass being played with externally. But I have so many digestive issues that I worry about sticking things up there. And my inexperienced confusion has led me to red once already.
Fisting(vaginal) – aroused. Being that aroused and open. I’ve never actually done fisting and I think it would be fun.
November 21st, 2009
I was asked recently what I would not offer freely. This got me to thinking about my limits. I had not explored them seriously in quite some time. Just random comments of, “no red,” or “you know that’s a hard limit” when things came up. Back when Husband and I first entered the community, I did a lot with lists. Filled out fetish lists, filled out like/dislike/limits lists. But it had been quite a while since I seriously visited the topic, and limits do change over time. My partners have challenged my limits, poking them gently here and there, never Leaping over the line, just prodding it until they made a hole to slip through. Or, in a couple cases, waiting until I changed my mind and Asked to try something.
So I now have three lists. Current Hard Limits, acknowledging that things do change. Previously Hard Limits that have been pushed to Soft Limits, acknowledging that these are still tricky ground, and often partner specific. And a very short Soft Limits list of two things I didn’t know enough to have put on my Hard Limits list in the first place.
Current Hard Limits
Animals(yes, this includes snakes)
Blood (except for sex during menstruation)
Cutting of the skin (does not include scraping/scratching or breaking from impact play)
Medical Play (specifically enemas, sounds, catheters)
Removal of my pubic hair
Bull whips (longer than 4 feet)
Significant Facial Impact (smacking, hitting, punching, etc)
Public sex (more than two other people present)
Willfully Breaking the Law (only exception is private play in a public area where there is reasonable safety of not being caught, (i.e. sex after dark in a car or park))
Previously Hard Limits that have been pushed to Soft Limits
Grabbing by the throat
Gentle face slapping
Single Tails(under 4 feet)
Sex while menstruating
Essential Flavored Oils