Lately, I Just Can’t… But I Must

August 19th, 2017

I can’t believe my country. I can’t believe the White House. I can’t believe this mess. But it’s real, it’s always been real. Life was never perfect, politics is always messy, racism never died, and discrimination was never defeated.

But the eight years previous to this one, I had hope. Hope that we were moving in the right direction. Hope that our leaders were getting a clue. Hope that we were working towards solutions. Hope that humanity would find humanity.

I know I live in an echo chamber, and that most of my friends have similar views and political leanings. And I wasn’t blind to the trouble and the violence, but it was still better than this. Better than a president who sides with Nazis, better than a president encouraging violence and foreign espionage, and better than a president who believes that science is false and people are not all equal under the law.

So, we fight. We fight our politicians, we fight each other, we fight our friends and family, we fight stupidity, we fight racism, we fight discrimination, and violence, and oppression.

But mostly, I fight to not lose hope. I fight to believe we can be better than this. I fight to keep going, to keep trying, to Listen, to help, to do whatever I can. I fight to believe I can do something, anything.

I’ve seen the posts, especially lately, with the Nazi fuckheads in Charlottesville, about if you’d ever wondered what you would have done had you been alive during Hitler’s reign, you’re doing it right now. And I’m glad to see all the resistance all around the country.

I’m a scifi/fantasy geek, so it was a meme on FB that caught my eye today and caused me to post:

“If you’ve ever said you’d fight in Dumbedore’s Army. If you’d follow the Mockingjay. If you’d fight the Empire. Now’s the time.”

I haven’t posted much this year, because this isn’t a political blog, and politics is mostly what’s on my mind, but we need allies in every corner these days.


Wondering Woman

June 2nd, 2017

You know you’ve been away from your blog too long when you’ve missed five version updates of the CMS. It’s June already, and I’ve only made 4 posts this year. I am going to stop giving all the excuses of those posts. My heart just isn’t in it lately. My life is busy and crazy, and blogging has lost its shine. Even my weekly blog to my family missed a few posts in May. And it’s the only thing keeping me from the traditional weekly call at 4pm on Sunday.

I’m just home from watching Wonder Woman. I left work early so I could go see it before going to the bowling munch tonight, sure that it would be on everyone’s mind and lips. Went by myself, as is usual of late, and pondered the idea of a Movie Daddy… like a sugar daddy, only, he just takes me to the movies every week. <Smirk>

SPOILERS AHEAD….. Read the rest of this entry »


Not So Kinky

November 23rd, 2016

The intention of all these posts was supposed to be getting the things out of my brain that had been floating around. That worked mostly okay… until the election… and then other politics happened. I feel bad about that, I wanted this to be less political, and more personal. Not so much. Well, that’s not true, I’ve done a lot of personal writing, too. Not enough, I feel, but there again, is my self-judgement. I do that a lot. Not enough, not good enough, not ____ enough. Fuck that. I do what I can. It’s not always what I think I “ought” to do, it’s not always what I think “should” do, but it is what I’m able to do.

I want to write more kinky stuff, but honestly, my life isn’t really focused on that right now. Sure, we still hold class every Wednesday, but I’m hardly ever in it. Sure, he practices his whip technique, and now a wrap-shot technique. He even paddled me for his birthday, which was lovely. But, even most of our “kink” time is spent being responsible, taking care of the venue, presenters, attendees, volunteers. And that’s fine, that’s where our focus has to be right now. We’ve got to keep things running, keep our community as safe and educated as we can. I don’t even know where we’d make time to do other things.

I get to see the boy once a month, for a night. And we have a good time, cooking, eating, Netflix, and having excellent sex. But I don’t write about that in detail. Those details private and personal. Sometimes I write about things we say, or conversations we have. But again, it’s not very often.

So, I write about what’s going on. Right now, that’s the disaster that is our President Elect, local and national leadership, politics and fighting. And that’s okay. Is it sexy? Is it steamy? No, but it is a part of my journey. It is what is on my mind, most of all.


We Aim to Misbehave

November 20th, 2016

I have Captain Mal’s speech in my head this evening. Only, it isn’t really about misbehaving – it’s about fighting for what is right. In this country, in these times, in our communities – we have a wide variety of people, of opinions, of opportunities – and we must all stand up for each other, for what is right for all of us. That’s not an easy thing to do. To be the first one to stand up, to be the first one to speak up, to be the light shining into the darkness. A lot of times, I see people afraid to speak up for themselves – asking other people to speak up for them. And I get it, it isn’t easy to say the unpopular thing, to call out a leader, to say what needs to be said. But when there is so much wrong in this country that someone like Trump can be elected President, we have to start working harder, fighting harder, to make the changes that are needed.

This happens on a local level, too. Not just on the national stage. And that is where we need to work the hardest. We need to work in our communities, in our neighborhoods, in our cities, in our states. The kinds of changes we need to make, they aren’t just national. They aren’t just in Congress. The folks at the top can say whatever they want, do whatever they want, but if we don’t create change everywhere, these problems are just going to continue.

Our leaders cannot do it alone. We chose them to lead us, but they have to have our help, our support, our voices, to know where to lead. They have to have us working just as hard to make the changes we want them to create. Our leaders are nothing without us, if we are not behind them 100%, they will have no one to lead. And if they are not leading us in the direction we want to go, they need to know that, too. If they knowingly lead us in the opposite direction, then we need to get new leaders.

Many respected figures have stated that they are not giving up, that now is not the time to walk away, that the best way to create change is to stay and do the work. Aside from the few who are walking away, the rest of us have a duty to do that work. It doesn’t end when the decision is made, when the voting is over. Unhappy with the results? Fine, do the work to create change you wish to see. Happy with the results? Fine, do the work to solve the problems that brought you here.

Complacency has brought us to where we are today. No more. It is time to take productive action. To have the hard conversations. To stand up and be heard. To not just shine a light into the darkness, but to bring the light in, and chase the darkness away.



November 14th, 2016

I really wanted to write something nonpolitical today. But that seems to be filling up all of our reality right now. The country is full of protests, and violence, and vandalism. People are wearing safety pins, people are arguing about safety pins. Facebook is full of political discussion and ranting and memes. The news is watching every move the President-Elect is making, every word he is saying, as he goes about picking his cabinet, and sorting out his plan. The world is watching, and reacting. Comedians are making jokes, and taking moments to be absolutely serious. Groups are organizing to resist hateful policies and practices.

Meanwhile, New Zealand had a major earthquake. Flint still doesn’t have clean water. The pipeline is still being built. The south and the west are on fire, literally. And there is bird flu in Germany.

So, I’ll try again tomorrow, to take a breath and get back to my usual postings.

Edit: In the meantime, I just finished watching Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, and wanted to post the groups he suggested donating to, to fight against hate and racism:


Hate is the Mindkiller

November 11th, 2016

My Mom’s in town this weekend, going to sleep on my couch as I type this, so it’ll be short. We were at lunch, talking about the meeting she’s been attended week. The Rural Advocates of the United Methodist Church here in the Midwest. I asked her if they accomplished anything – mostly just finishing up the year’s paperwork and preparing for next year. So, nothing? She said they were mostly worried about the church splitting.

Splitting? Over the LGBT issue, she says. I posted about the General conference discussion of it a while back. She talked about how the two sides cannot “agree to disagree” on the issue. How her group did not have an issue with LGBT folks and were trying to work with them. How some parts of the church simply refuse. It’s going to come to a head, she says, in 2019, when the commission reports back.

I understand, I tell her, the desire to settle on “agreeing to disagree.” But, I say, Hate is just not okay. They don’t Hate them, she tries to tell me. Mom, I remember the “love the sinner, hate the sin” policy and I’m sorry, but “HATE” should not be anywhere in a church’s policies.

Hate is what is tearing this country apart. People fear religious zealots full of hate, but I tell you, it doesn’t take radicals or zealotry for hate to be in your religion or your church. It starts with all of us, standing up against hate, wherever we see it: in the street, on a bus, at a school. Even in church.


The Gift of Fear is Action

November 10th, 2016

I still need to listen to the book again, but I want to talk about fear today. Fear is a useful feeling, it is a survival mechanism. It tells us when there is danger. It tells us to lift our head and look around, like a deer scenting a predator. It tells us when something is wrong. But what it doesn’t tell us, is to stand still.

There is a lot of fear in the country right now, in the world. One both sides of the fence. The right fearing the left. The left fearing the right. The election didn’t really change these fears, they were already present. It just shone a brighter light on it, and gave greater power to the side that myself, my friends, and my family fear the most.

We cannot, however, let that fear paralyze us. We cannot let that fear turn to hate and destruction. We need to work harder, we need to find better solutions, we need to support our friends and family.

I am a white, straight, middle-class, woman. I have fears, but they are nothing compared to the fears of my friends of color, my LGBT friends, my Muslim coworkers. These people are afraid for their lives, on top of all the other fears. Again, they had these fears before the election, but racism and homophobia have been given a louder voice, and stronger support now.

We must all work against this. We must all stand with our friends and family. We must not let fear and anger lead. We must not let it win. Fear is a motivator, but it is action that must prevail. Love one another, be good to one another, work together towards safety and security for all.


Election 2016

November 9th, 2016

That’s the trouble with NaNo – not editing your work, you don’t realize the final word of a day was misspelled… and then I somehow skipped yesterday, so it’s been misspelled for nearly two days. Weee! Despite the desire to drink yesterday, Monday should have ended with everything you can dream, not dram. Awesome, Imp. Awesome.

So, yesterday was terribly disappointing. I’m currently tuned in to Tim Kaine about to introduce Hillary for her concession speech. Only .2% difference in popular vote, but a Massive difference in Electoral votes. Ugh! And Republicans keeping control of the House and Senate.

I am scared. Of what is going to happen going forward. Of who is going to end up on the Supreme Court. Of what terrible things are going to get passed. Of President-Elect Trump becoming Commander in Chief of our military forces. I am grateful that the Presidency is the least powerful branch of government, but Congress now has an aligned President. That’s what scares me the most.

Clinton encourages us to come together and move forward. To continue fighting for what is right. That the fight is always worth it. Trump began his speech with reuniting this country, as well. Though the second half of his speech seems to be thanking everyone he brought on stage with him, family, staff, and politicians. One can only hope he creates a cabinet of intelligent advisors.

The elections are over, the fight has just begun.


Remember, Remember the 5th of November

November 6th, 2016

I didn’t post yesterday, because I kept falling asleep. First watching V for Vendetta, then watching The Three Musketeers. It is, however, just a few days before the elections, so I thought I’d be a bit political this morning.

HOLY SH*T (You’ve Got To Vote) from Funny Or Die

And let’s all remember, that it’s not just our new President that we’re voting for, we’ve got senators and representatives, and local government, as well as the funding of schools and other government works on the ballot. I don’t care if you hate the Presidential candidates, vote for the rest of the ballot, at least. Right now, the legislative branch is Not Doing Their Job – they are holding back even discussing the Supreme Court Nominees (and have been for EIGHT MONTHS), let alone all the other gridlock. This Cannot Continue.

Please Vote on, or before November 8th.



June 14th, 2016

The Victims

A Voice for Acceptance for All

Love Can Conquer Hate

A Call to Action