Responsibility

November 16th, 2016

Leaders take on a huge responsibility. To lead people, to guide people and (usually) an organization/group. They are held responsible for the actions of those they lead. They are held responsible for whatever happens to them, as well. They have taken on the mantle of getting shit done. They don’t have to do it all themselves, but they are the ones responsible for it happening.

I don’t envy those in positions of leadership, of that kind of responsibility. Everything they do is watched, analyzed, criticized, or second-guessed. When things are going well, they are praised. When they are going poorly, they are blamed. When things are messy, they are mired in the muck.

There is a running joke about me “being in charge” in one of my groups. But I’m really not. It is not my responsibility to get the things done, I’m not the one everyone looks to if they don’t. I know my limitations. I don’t do messy well. I don’t have the patience for politics. I do like to organize, and the leader delegates some of that organizing to me, and I’m glad to do it. But I am not interested in the responsibility, and the glowing target on the back, of leadership. I don’t do the big things, I like to be the support staff in the background, getting the little things done.

And some days, I even find it hard to do those. I haven’t got big enough spoons for leadership, and I don’t want them. My little spoons are good enough for me.

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