Needs, Wants & Desires – Part 2

July 1st, 2013

My previous post talked about my needs, wants, and desires when I bottom in the scene. I also said that was the first way I would address them, so I suppose I should keep my end of the bargain and address them as a top, as well. I don’t top much, I service top for the show, so my needs, wants, and desires are probably much different from “regular” tops.

Needs. I need full and eager consent. If someone shows hesitation, or fear I talk to them gently, to find out if they really want to do it. If they seem to be being forced into the scene by a friend or partner, I will refuse. If someone is in a state that makes them incapable of giving consent (we work in bars), I will also refuse. If it’s a good friend, I will tease and poke, but never go forward without consent.

Wants. I want connection, an exchange of energy. I want to see them smile, or hear them moan. I want to see them writhe or wiggle or jump. I want to hear them giggle, or sigh. Bottoms who sit rigidly still and silent, who don’t even look like they are enjoying the scene, are hugely draining. It makes me wonder if they really wanted to be sitting in the chair at all.

Desires. What’s the cherry on top for a service top? That huge grin when I’m done. The, Oh my gods, that was wonderful! The thank you’s. The hugs. The requests to take me home. The appreciation of the bottom. Those first timers who come back again, and again, and again.

I mostly only top violet wand scenes, so my needs, wants, and desires are pretty simple from a top perspective.

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