Trauma and All the Rope

November 12th, 2015

Trauma went well. Three nights of costumes, shows, rope, and kink. We did over three hundred scenes in our balcony. Serving something like 500 people. It was a great time. We had a lot of fun, and some really boisterous dinners after each night. It was great to have new crew join us and old crew reappear. Fortunately, we have another year before we have to do it again.

Our usual weekday meeting is off this month, but we have all the rope. Two rope meetings so far, and one more to go. Hoping to catch all the new folks that met the rope crew at Trauma. We had some really good attendance at the first two, hoping it holds for the next.

Two more parties left this year. Some holiday fun yet to have. Looking forward to relaxing a bit through the end of the year. And then we start all over again. 🙂


Sex, Words, and Trauma 2015

October 18th, 2015

“So, you’re not going to write about me?”

I don’t write about the sex I have. I don’t write about things I’m not willing to do in public, because let’s face it, the internet is public. Intimacy is intimate, to me. Bedrooms are private. I write about scenes, and if they were private scenes at the time, that led to sexy things, I generally have a fade to black. Or did not describe that part specifically. So, when I have a relationship that is more intimate and less kinky, I don’t write about what we do. I think, instead, I might give a try writing about how it makes me feel.

I am also having a love languages issue, complicated by my ever-present battle with insecurity. Service is my main love language, and it is present in all of my relationships – taking care of one another. It is the Words of Affirmation, that I am finding myself stumbling over. Part of my brain says that service, actions, should be enough. That I shouldn’t need specific words, or that I should hear the words in the actions. But I have discovered that I do want to hear the words, as well, far more than I realized. So, I’m working on the how and why of that.

Trauma is coming! Two weeks from now, Trauma will be over, and I will be Sleeping. Crew is shaping up nicely, much better than my exhausted brain remembered Friday night. So that’s good. I’m looking forward to it with the same kind of dread and excitement as always, though perhaps a bit more dread as it coincides with the weekend between my last two weeks of internships, and the weekend has a wedding to go to, as well.


Time to Fly

November 3rd, 2014

“If you want to go up Be here asap”

Two nights of Trauma, and one more to go. We’ve done over 250 scenes, we’ll do another 240 that night. And now he’s gotten access to the hight point. I scramble to get ready, my house guest is happy to drive me over. It has been so long since we’ve had a high point.

I arrive, to catch a few glimpses of the video taken of the engineer going up just moments before. Someone else has taken the stage, practicing for the night. I might not get to go. He unties her. I strip down, worried, by trying to hold on to hope.

He checks in with the guy in charge of the rig. No problem, just let him know. He starts tying me, and another group takes the stage. We’re running out of time. He’s apologizing, but still tying. They run their performance a couple times and then the stage is free.

He takes me up and I lie down under the point. Waiting as he goes to find the rigger. Still waiting. I look up and he is coming towards me, shaking his head. Can’t find him. Is he outside? He goes, tries again. Nothing. Gone, his camera is gone.

Disappointment threatens, but then he appears from the back. Relief. Something is wrong with a piece of the rig. I put my head down, waiting, hoping they’ll fix it or use the other one. They figure it out, and he joins me back on the stage.

“You okay, you sound emotional?”

I’m okay. I get to fly. Nerves running up and down, exhausted, of couse I’m emotional. He ties me in, and lifts me up. Way up. Gotta love pulleys. The rig feels good. A few false starts, but he tied it beautifully. Back down to a reachable height and locks it off. Time to fly.

He pushes me into the sky. I am free and flying. Wind rushing through my hair, ropes biting into my chest, hips, and thighs. It is glorious. Pushes me higher and higher. Oh, how I have missed this feeling. Nothing else matters in these moments, but him and me and the rope.

Now I am spinning, head curled in, focus on my belly. I haven’t forgotten the lessons, no matter how long it has been. And then he stops me short. Oh my, that still sucks. Offers to spin me the other way to unwind. No, no. Just one more big push and I’m done.

Flying high, enjoying the last taste of freedom. And then she is there, holding me steady while he lowers me down. He lets my lie as he unties, breathing heavily, all smiles. Thank you. Up to my knees for the hip harness. And then sit to bundle the rope. We have to go, get ready for the night. A big hug, kiss, and more thank yous. It was wonderful to fly again.


Trauma was pretty awesome, too. Nearly 500 scenes, and that was only cupping, electric, and corporal. We sent the rope all upstairs. We feared we would not have enough crew, cancels and three nights running. But we made it, even finished all our lists each night. Got to see some great performances. Dinner out with the family after Friday and Saturday. I had almost all good scenes with happy and reactive people. Even the skeptics were fun. Exhaustion ran rampant, but the energy of the event kept us going. I stress out about it every year, but this time, I’m happier afterwards than any other year. And not just because I got to fly. 🙂


Halloween Ramblings

October 25th, 2014

Saturday afternoon. I’ve been up for a couple hours and should be eating lunch, or at least cooking something. Instead, I’ve done my usual run through the internet. Checked in on my Grad School groups, and now I’m rambling at an Office doc so that I have something to post for this week.

Next weekend is Trauma. Three nights of overly loud music, the stage show running hundreds of scenes, and performances that range from rope and hook suspensions to burlesque and body painting. It is one helluva Halloween celebration. And I can hardly wait until it is over. It will be fun to be there, but there is a lot of dread leading up to it, and a lot of exhaustion after. Not to mention I have a final group project due that weekend, too. Life would be so boring without all the insanity.

Going to a regular Halloween party tonight. Costuming is supposed to be Horror movie Villains and Victims. I really don’t do costuming… or horror movies. So the hostess will probably be annoyed at me, though only momentarily, as much drinking and dancing will also be occurring. (And I haven’t even begun to think about Trauma clothing!) Riding up with a friend, probably sleeping on the floor. It’s fun to pretend I’m not too old and broken for this. 😉

Been abusing my body this week, but not in the usual fun ways. More in the receiving manager gone for two days, so I had to receive over 450 boxes by myself, kind of way. I’m actually not doing nearly as bad today as I thought I would be. Lugging gear for the crew has kept me in minimally good shape after all.

Winter Wickedness tickets go on sale next weekend, too. Right in the middle of Trauma, as usual. I think he’ll probably do the same as previous years, so we can get our tickets as they go on sale and not have to stress about getting a room like we did with COPE. But we haven’t actually confirmed that plan, yet. Too much going on each week to really worry about February, yet. Though have some other exciting plans to sort out for late February, too, at some point.

One more week of two classes, and then a month of just one class. And then Winter Break! So looking forward to having a month off. Have to schedule spring classes Sunday night, to see when exactly I’ll be starting up again. I have plans of things to do and books to read. We’ll see how much of it actually gets done. Also, WoD comes out in November. I’m curious, but haven’t sorted out the finances of that, yet. Money sucks. Anyone need a kinky librarian who is halfway through her degree?

Happy Halloween! See you on the flip side.


Ill Ramblings

November 7th, 2013

I hate being ill. It has felt like someone trying to dig my throat out through my ears all week. Does not do well for the creativity centers when the rest of the body just wants to sleep til it’s over. I did have an odd vision of a vampire seduction gone terribly wrong as the woman tries to eat the vampire’s heart through his chest. I blame watching Alien last night for that, though.

Had a great time at Trauma, though I didn’t get many scenes, what with the running around keeping things moving. We had a great crew who worked the asses off to do almost 300 scenes in two nights. Not bad for about 20 folks. There was cupping and violet wands and drumming and flogging and suspension. Our resident electricity craftsman brought out a lot of new toys, too. Including his new stun baton, yes I ran the hell away from that thing. There was also the usual burlesque lady with her snakes. I ran away from her, too. But other than that and a few other hiccups, it went really well. The shows were mostly awesome, too. From high-flying suspension (JEALOUS), to arial work, to dancing, to flesh-hook suspensions (no, didn’t watch that either). A great time had by all.

He got new boots. They’re not lineman boots this time. They’re… like boot-shaped tennis shoes. The leather is soft and squishy. Not sure what, if anything, I can do with them. The instigator promises another bootblack meeting soon, so we’ll see what the others have to say. The steel-toes were just killing his feet.

Tickets have been purchased for Winter Wickedness. Very excited to go to that. Many good presenters will be there, and much fun will be had by all.



October 31st, 2013

There may be a real post later this weekend, for now…. Trauma!!!


Trauma 2012

October 27th, 2012

Two nights of fun, friends and insanity. Trauma is always a great time, with great shows and (mostly) good music. This year was no exception. We had a crew of 20+ each night up in our side of the balcony, running suspension, drumming, flogging, violet wand, and fire cupping scenes all night long.  Over the course of two nights, we had nearly 350 sign ups to play with us. And for the first time in my tenure at Trauma, all our violent wands stayed alive for both nights, all night. Thank you to our fearless leaders who fixed them all up Thursday afternoon. Also, big thanks to the four people we recruited just a couple weeks ago to help out electric, I would have been sorely overwhelmed without them. The club even gave us our very own security guard this year, to mind our roped-off entrance. They were both incredibly helpful and freed us up to do our thing, and not worry so much about the surging crowd, or the drunk assholes.

I don’t watch many of the performances, but there was the usual mixed bag of tricks. Anna and the Annadroids were amazing as always. The crowd loved the flesh-hook suspensions. Even Magic Nate was entertaining with his slight of hand. The DJs always end the night with a good dance mix, though I could do without the heavy smoke. I didn’t make it to the other rooms this year. Not one for navigating crowds while wearing high heels, unless I have to. Though, I will say, the stairs were far less of an issue this year than they have been in the past.

Thank you to everyone who works hard each year to put on this incredibly event. I hope everyone had as much fun as we did. I’ll see you all next year.


One Down, One to Go

October 26th, 2012

One night of Trauma down, one to go. Last night wasn’t overly crowded, I think tonight will be insane. After-action post to come this weekend.