January 10th, 2013
I posted last Thursday about trying new things this year, and the need to make a list. Last May, I posted a list of things I was curious about, and I’ve only managed to knock a couple things off that list. We did needles for my second time at COPE, and he bought a brand new dragontail, and have done quite a bit of bootlicking since that post. The adrenaline from the former was great, and the latter is even better than I hoped. So, what’s on my list this year? Where am I at on what’s left over?
Hot wax. Well, that shouldn’t be hard to check off the list on a Friday event some time. Just gotta ask and do it. Waterboarding and water boxes take a lot of planning and resources, still curious, but not on a “do right now” list. Breath play could be fun to experiment with, I’m still interested, but I have technically done it in a few different ways before. Anal play and vaginal fisting, both still curious, but not at the Top of the list of “things to do.”
So what else do I want to try this year?
What else haven’t I already tried? Let’s start there… browsing FetLife fetish lists for an answer to that… Cutting. Cell Popping. Flesh Hooks. Cigar Play. Strap Ons. Watersports/Scat. Playing Doctor/Medical Play. Enemas. Anal/Vaginal Hooks. Branding/Scarification. Age Play. Animal Play. Figging. Gun Play. Hypnosis. Sounds. Staples. Vacuum Bed. Zentai.
So, a lot of those are yes or maybes, a couple are no, and one of them is both.
Let’s start with the no category. Cigar Play. As much as I’m intrigued by the “bootblacking, chocolate and cigars” evenings I’ve heard about, I cannot abide that much smoke in the air. This is not the type of breath play I had in mind. Watersports/Scat – yeah, no. I mean yes, once I said I’d rather be peed on than be put in a box of snakes, but really, not a turn on at all. Branding/Scarification just sounds like a bad idea. I like the occasional scars, but I don’t really want them to be permanent. I like having a clean canvas to work on after a bit of healing. If I was going to get something permanent, it’d probably be a tattoo, and we know how I feel about needles.
So, does that mean everything else is a yes? Well, most of them are conditional yes, so let’s start at the top.
Cutting. He’s used his knife to cut cross-hatching in the top layers of skin on my shoulder blade before. But, given my dislike of blood, we’ve never gone further than little scratches. But I enjoyed it, I liked the rush that came with it (imagine that, me liking the rush), so, like needles, I’m curious about what more would be like.
Cell Popping. I dunno. The designs I’ve seen done with this have all been pretty cool, and they tend to heal after awhile. It could be interesting to do, if there was something I/he wanted temporarily ingrained into my flesh.
Flesh Hooks. This is a hell no. But I already owe it to him, so it’s not really? It turns my stomach to watch it at Trauma each year. But I accept that some day, I may do it, for the smile on his face and the glee in his eyes.
Strap-Ons/Pegging. Again with the I’m not sure. Not really keen on a dildo up my ass, as mentioned in other posts, my ass is a tender subject. But strap on vaginal sex could be interesting, with the right person. So, not necessarily on the list, but not out of the question.
Playing Doctor/Medical Play. I’m not reallysure what this entails, and could just be some of the other individual stuff I’ve mentioned. But I’ve never actually “played doctor” with anyone. Could be fun.
Enemas. Well, this kinda goes with the May post section about anal play. I’m curious about stuff, just not sure.
Anal/Vaginal Hooks. I know he has them. He talks about/threatens them occasionally. I’d like an opportunity to try them out sometime this year.
Age Play. I dunno. I don’t think this is a big want for me. But some days, coming home to color and watch Disney and let someone else make all the decisions/take care of me, sounds rather nice.
Animal Play. Again, I don’t think I’d want to do this very often. But being a kitty just curled up for stroking with no responsibilities sounds quite relaxing. Neither this, nor age play, sounds at all arousing to me, though, just a space to let go of stress and just be take care of.
Figging. We’ve got another class on it coming up next week. I shy away from it due to a cinnamon oil experience, but there’s still curiosity. How horrible is it really? And the masochist in me gets curious. And wonders about other things too, icy hot, capsaicin, peppermint oil, clove oil. They all sound like horrible ideas. But sometimes we like horrible, don’t we?
Gun Play. Again with the aversion/curiosity. Guns have never been a part of my personal life. Didn’t have them in the house as a kid. Never learned to shoot one. Have only held two handguns in my life, which belongs to boys who were trying to show off. They make loud noises, I’m not fond of loud noise. But they also produce fear, I like fear. I think this one stays in the, not specifically on the list, but not a no category, too.
Hypnosis. We’ve got a couple classes coming up on this topic, so I might have a better answer after one or both of those. It sounds interesting, but of course, I wouldn’t let just anyone in my head, just because I’m curious.
Sounds. That was an interesting class. I’ve had a camera up there, with numbing stuff. It just felt weird. I’m sure, without the numbing stuff, it’d feel a lot different. I don’t think I have enough information to know if I’d want to do this or not. Not sure I can have enough information without trying it. Really seems like something another person can’t really describe to you. Also, have only seen it done on a guy.
Staples. This fits in with the needles/hooks category. Stabby things. Only this is straight in and then (usually) yanked out. With much bleeding. I’m sure I’d do it for his entertainment, and I’m sure it’ give me some lovely adrenaline. And I’m supposed to be trying new things, so.
Vacuum Bed. This sounds awesome. I love compression bondage. Someone was talking about one of these recently. I’d love to try it.
Zentai. These have always intrigued me. A full body suit. I think it’d be great for sensation play and sensory dep play.
So, there we go, a lot of different things I’ve never done, with wide-ranging amounts of interest. What is the official list of things I want to try in 2013? Hot Wax, Fisting, Anal Play, Cutting, Cell Popping, Anal/Vaginal Hooks, Figging/Oils etc, Vacuum Bed, Zentai suit. With a handful of other things on the possibilities list.
November 21st, 2009
I was asked recently what I would not offer freely. This got me to thinking about my limits. I had not explored them seriously in quite some time. Just random comments of, “no red,” or “you know that’s a hard limit” when things came up. Back when Husband and I first entered the community, I did a lot with lists. Filled out fetish lists, filled out like/dislike/limits lists. But it had been quite a while since I seriously visited the topic, and limits do change over time. My partners have challenged my limits, poking them gently here and there, never Leaping over the line, just prodding it until they made a hole to slip through. Or, in a couple cases, waiting until I changed my mind and Asked to try something.
So I now have three lists. Current Hard Limits, acknowledging that things do change. Previously Hard Limits that have been pushed to Soft Limits, acknowledging that these are still tricky ground, and often partner specific. And a very short Soft Limits list of two things I didn’t know enough to have put on my Hard Limits list in the first place.
Current Hard Limits
Animals(yes, this includes snakes)
Blood (except for sex during menstruation)
Cutting of the skin (does not include scraping/scratching or breaking from impact play)
Medical Play (specifically enemas, sounds, catheters)
Removal of my pubic hair
Bull whips (longer than 4 feet)
Significant Facial Impact (smacking, hitting, punching, etc)
Public sex (more than two other people present)
Willfully Breaking the Law (only exception is private play in a public area where there is reasonable safety of not being caught, (i.e. sex after dark in a car or park))
Previously Hard Limits that have been pushed to Soft Limits
Grabbing by the throat
Gentle face slapping
Single Tails(under 4 feet)
Sex while menstruating
Essential Flavored Oils