Merry Christmas!

December 25th, 2014

By next post, the year will be over. I hope you had a good one. In my time-keeping, I dubbed this the Year of Change. People moving, getting new jobs, people passing, babies born, houses bought, classes taken. There have been some Serious Discussions, and quite a lot of flirting, and some forward progress made. I have played far too much World of Warcraft, but also read quite a lot more books this year than last, even discovering a good handful of new authors. I’ve just started Kushiel’s Dart, and it looks intriguing so far.

I even made him proud of me at the recent self-suspension class – hardly anyone there had ever seen me tie a rope before, and a couple asked him if I was a rigger, when just as the hands-on part began, I was the first one ready to put myself up. He and I had been practicing a particular knot lately, so I was using that for my ties. The suspension being taught was just three single column ties, and each separately up to the ring. Not terribly comfortable, depending on where you put the torso tie, but that’s why the teacher suggested a corset. Interesting possibilities and a whole lot of flexibility with that tie, just have to make it work for your own body.

Stray thoughts floating around my head tonight – monsters, nuzzles, and busy times ahead.

We talked a bit about his monster this week, how long it had been since I’ve seen it, what it looked like, that I miss it, but it’s safer this way. I don’t always want to be safe, though, it’s a hard line to walk.  And an odd Christmas Eve discussion. Still processing.

Nuzzles are nice. I sent out bonfire envy and got back nuzzles in return, I’m such a sucker for written words, made me happy murmur even without the actual nuzzles.

We had Fet Night last week, we’ve got Porters Friday, Fet night next week, and then DeCon in a couple more weeks. Also hoping to start sorting out visits to the north soon.

2015 is going to be a great year of moving forward and upward. 🙂


Day Four – Early Experiences

January 4th, 2011

Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

So, I brushed over some stuff in yesterday’s post. But let’s try for more specific things today.

I don’t remember how old I was anymore, somewhere in early grade school, I think. But I occasionally would try to get my friends to play make believe that involved spankings. Enacting The Little Old Lady Who Lived in a Shoe. Or playing school and getting in trouble. My friends were always more hesitant about such play.

In High School, things became more pronounced. Fantasies turned darker (the aforementioned monster under the bed). I read Wizard’s First Rule and was embarrassed that I was turned on by the Mord Sith.

There was some power exchange, too, but I didn’t know what it was at the time. He was an interesting guy. Testing me, poking me, challenging me. And I had a crush on him, so I let him. He taught me to be aware of his presence, even if I was walking the halls reading. Testing me by stepping suddenly in front of me, and expecting me to be aware enough to stop. He taught me to trust him, moving as if to strike, expecting me to hold completely still, trusting he would not ever connect. It’s hard to put into words, but I gave him a lot of control in my life, and as far as I can remember, he only abused it once. Fortunately, she forgave me and I never let him do that again.

My 30 Days of Kink