December 21st, 2012
Sorry I’ve been so bad at posting lately. Holiday retail is taking its toll on me once again. 40 hours a week running and lifting and stocking is not being nice to my body or mind. I fell asleep last night at 5pm and didn’t get up until work this morning. And now I’m heading off to an End of the World Party through a snow storm. Great idea, eh? Ah well, work again tomorrow, too. So, while dinner is quickly boiling, how about a quick post?
Life is crazy as always, with the community currently focused on boundaries and leadership. I’ve tried to stay out of it all, except for my post earlier this month. My mom bought me a membership to a kinky convention for Christmas, but shhhh, don’t tell, she doesn’t know that. If my MIL sends me an Amazon giftcard, she might be buying me some new shinies, I haven’t fully decided yet.
Other than that, life is going along as usual. He and hubby and sundry are all doing fairly well, with the usual ups and downs with life, jobs and relationships. I’m probably going to make Modern Dungeon Quarterly an ezine as of January, with a site redesign and new submission guidelines. I don’t have the time, money and energy to keep the print going. I hope to be doing more webdesign work in the new year as well. We’ll see how that goes. A little hard to get mainstream work when half the sites I’ve designed(or more) are kinky. I’ll also get back to regular posts again soon, promise.
November 1st, 2012
The cover is finished. The edits are in. The PDF is uploaded. The index is posted. Are you ready for the best Modern Dungeon Quarterly issue yet?
Featuring AIS Kink Labs and the AIS Mobile Dungeon. We have an article from Victor Pringle on his very best Bondage Chair. Perverted Imp, Mechanica and Daydreamweaver all return with articles to help make your dungeon the best place to play in town.
October 20th, 2012
Sorry about the late post this week. Work is killing me with these full time hours, grateful, but so very tired. Friday night started the Halloween line up of kinky events. We had a belly dance class and our usual play party. He was feeling ill, but still managed to zap and dragon tail us quite thoroughly, as well as the other two scenes he planned on. We ended the event in a giant cuddle pile of awesome. I might have even fallen asleep on his chest a little bit. My new dress was all shiny and red, and sometime in the near future, the awesome seamstress lady will make me one that fits better. I handed out tons of Trauma fliers to everyone there. And he, the engineer and I had a good cuddle sleep together and a very nice morning.
Today there is a wedding and then two parties. Trauma is this coming week, two nights of insanity with the general public in outrageous costumes. There’s a Halloween party the next night, but I don’t think I’m going to make it. The following week we are back at the club again for a party on Halloween, and then another party that Saturday, too. My parents are visiting some time in November, I should really sort out when. I’m guessing Turkey Day weekend. Oh, and Modern Dungeon Quarterly’s fourth issue, featuring COPE and AIS Kink Labs, comes out November 1st. So, that’s my life right now, but what do I want to write about?
Have I mentioned how much I love Fearless Press? So many good articles on relationships, sex, kink and spirituality. You should totally go there and read through the current selection. I think my thoughtful post will be about labels and active D/s, but right now I have to get showered and dressed for the aforementioned wedding.
July 12th, 2012
Brain’s a bit swirly today. After vacation and some really rough conversations, I’m all over the place. But the Elust digest is a little too far away to not post something this week.
Hubby outed us to his Mom. First with rope, then the whole thing. Kept dropping hints about his DJng events until she finally had to ask what events. She did not end up bringing it up the rest of the week, so maybe reading 50 Shades of Grey did her some good. Who knows. We did not tell them about Poly, though we were open with everyone else about our lifestyle. I only felt judged once, and I’ll own that feeling as my own story creation, no way to know what was really going on in his head.
I commented last night that my German teacher in high school ingrained in my head the difference between “can’t wait” and “can hardly wait” and to this day, I can’t help but correct myself if I use the wrong one. But there are two more meanings to take into consideration. Often people say “cant’ when they mean “won’t” or when they mean “don’t want to.” All four of these phrases have different meanings, and different resolutions. If you can’t wait, then you have to go now. If you won’t wait, then you will exercise your will and go. If you don’t want to wait, you might still do it anyway, and if you can hardly wait, you usually will. It also brings to mind the phrase “If you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.” If you keep saying you can’t do something, then you never will. Even if the truth is that you can hardly do it, or you don’t want to do it, or simply that you won’t do it. If you don’t believe in yourself, then you’ll never try. And what fun is that?
The other topic running around in my head is passivity. I am a mediator, a problem-solver. If someone comes to be with a complaint or a problem that they don’t want solved, they better be up front and clear with me that they aren’t asking for help. And they better be prepared for me to be annoyed that they don’t want to solve the problem. I’m not saying people can’t come to me with reactions, and feelings. I am sympathetic, I will listen, I will provide empathy and comfort. But I don’t like wallowing, and I won’t always agree with you. If you want my sympathy, I will give it, but I have to know that is what you’re after. If you come to me repeatedly for sympathy over the same problem, I will get annoyed at you, and ask you to stop dumping on me. I will insist you solve the problem. And no, I don’t consider wallowing in self-pity or anger because it’s your problem, not their problem, to be a solution. You have every right to be angry or sad or whatever, but I also have the right to encourage you to stop it, and find a way back to happy. I have a very positive world-view. I think happiness is a choice, and I really don’t understand people who think it isn’t. Yes, I sometimes wallow and get lost in the darkness, that’s why I surround myself with people who are good candles and mirrors. Because I need led out occasionally, too. I don’t like seeing my friends upset, and I will do everything in my power to help you, but I will find it hard to understand if you don’t want that help.
On a more positive note, I still need to get final confirmation and details worked out for featuring COPE in Modern Dungeon Quarterly. Issue Three will be out in just three weeks. I’m getting really excited for COPE. There are some vague, some solid and some ever-mutating plans in the works. And I still have no idea what I’m going to wear! It’s Steampunk themed, and I certainly don’t have anything to fit that. Though, with no club for the foreseeable future, my fun clothes won’t all feel so over-worn by September. On another clothes topic, how in the world am I going to go to Cedar Point in a skirt? Things to ponder.
July 5th, 2012
It’s a rambly day I think. I’m on vacation with hubby, back to his hometown. Back to being quiet and hiding. Not because I have to be quiet here, but because I am. Because everyone talks loudly and at length, and I mostly just listen. We’ve been gone five years, there’s a lot to say, I guess.
Hiding? Well, I’ll have to on the vacation to see my family, too. No telling the parents the truth. No mentioning my boyfriend or his girlfriend around the family, though hubby did mention rope work, and suspension to MIL, she didn’t seem sure what to make of it. She has recently read the 50 Shades books, and liked them, but “would not want that to happen to” her. I haven’t read them, but seems to me, the lady made the choice to do those things, they didn’t just “happen to” her, but I digress, and don’t actually know. Though, I feel like I ought to read them, just for blog’s sake if nothing else.
In other big news, our club has closed. So, our Saturday weekly venue is gone. That sucks, but we shall persevere, and actually get to go to community events on Saturdays for a while, not to mention it’ll make summer planning a bit easier. Looking forward to what’s next, as well, whatever it may be.
Brain’s all swirly, and dreams have been matching it. Snakes, crocodiles, non-con knife play, seduction, and electric play. In one dream, I actually told the guy who’d cut the fuck out of my back and legs and pushed me into a pool with a crocodile, that blood play was against my hard limits. Apparently I didn’t mind the hungry croc in the bottom of the pool so much as the fact he wasn’t allowed to cross my hard limits with blood.
The engineer sent me a lovely link for the 4th from FL, of a girl covered in patriotic needle play with sparklers attached to the cross she was leaning against. It was quite pretty, but like the fireworks last night, much better viewed from a distance. I was not happy about the loud explosions and showers of sparks from the drunks lighting illegal fireworks off a nearby roof. Even if none of the sparks reached the ground lit. I could hear some of the bits landing nearby. The legal show down the road was pretty, once we figured out how to see it.
Pulled together all the MDQ Issue 3 articles this week, too. So that’s off to my editor a few days early. Gotta put the photos in and everything still, but it’s nearly ready. Then it’s time to finalize the details for the fourth issue. COPE here I come.
May 11th, 2012
I can’t brain this week. I mean, I can think, but I can’t come up with something to write about. Sure, you say, that’s what I always think. And look at all the things I’ve written. But yesterday and today, nothing is coming to mind that I haven’t already written about, will write about next week, or that everyone else has already written about.
Posted about MDQ last week, and my writing and all that. Worked on a new homepage for the site today. I’m getting tons of traffic, but not a lot of sales. Hoping to change that. Or at least get a few more sales. Moved the blog posts over to a What’s New? page and did more of a splash page on the front end. Big plans for next week with my writing, but well, that’s for next week.
There was a mess up in Michigan this week. The news decided that a murder suspect’s alternative lifestyle choices might have to do with the murder, so they took a hidden camera into a kinky party that this guy had previously attended and filmed people playing. Hurray for the NCSF, they got them to at least blur the video a lot more for the broadcast so people wouldn’t be as easily identified. The teaser trailer the played all day, however could have already done damage. And the lovely newsfolk outed the venue, so it will probably never get used again. Let alone imagine the guff the folk who own/run the place are going to get. The news pointed out that other nights of the week, senior citizens play Bingo there. Way to be classy folks. The report itself wasn’t too terrible, but the reporter seemed a bit incredulous the whole time. And linking a murder, committed in an SUV in an alley, to a group of innocent kinky folk just trying to have a good time at a private party is just ridiculous. Thanks, sweeps week, you always bring out the worst of TV. There’s a whole huge thread on Fetlife about this if you want to read more.
Been listening to Tim Minchin in the car again lately. So, I’ll leave you with a video this week. Next week will be loads more fun, I promise.
January 12th, 2012
This week I am preparing for two things. First, DeConpression. The adult relaxicon being held this weekend. I am part of the group that will be providing the alcohol and hosting the Saturday night party. The stage crew is also putting on some panels at the con. So, I’ve been helping get things a little bit organized for both groups, as well as getting myself ready to go. Tonight is load in, and tomorrow we set up and then have a good weekend.
The second thing is the inaugural issue of Modern Dungeon Quarterly. He put the idea in my head many weeks ago, and over the past month it has taken root and blossomed. I have mapped out the different sections of the magazine, found a POD vendor, bought the webdomain, set up a twitter account, lined up a photographer, and have at least one friend willing to edit with me.
The last two weeks have been spent writing the articles for the first issue. A featured dungeon, and the creator of its furniture, a featured furniture piece, an article on soundproofing, one on first aid kits, another on lighting, one on slippery floors and one on floggers. I’m not an expert, but I am a writer. So, I found experts, and discussion groups, and friends and gathered information to write the best articles I can. Last night, my photographer and I took pictures of the featured dungeon to finish out the main content of the first issue.
The next steps are getting the articles edited, populating the website and putting the magazine together. My goal is to have it on Sale by February 1st. I plan to order stock myself for local sales, and have it online for individual purchase, as well.
@PassionandSoul asked if I was going to be accepting outside submissions or writing all the content myself. I have articles planned for the first four issues, but some of that plan involves toy helping me out. I replied that eventually, I’ll be taking outside submissions. I just have to figure out how well things are going and what I can reasonably offer to writers. Writing it all myself is a big job, and I’m sure there are people out there who could really add to this projecct.
I am really excited about this project and as soon as I get my vendor’s license, I’ll be sorting out pre-orders.
I am grateful for:
1) Tight fingers in my hair
2) A lap to lay my head in
3) Sharp knives
4) Leatherman multitools