Spring Ponderings

March 19th, 2016

Just about to be spring. New growth abounds. For me as well as the plants about. Starting to take to heart the need to care for myself first. I am so used to putting others first, for going when called, or showing up regardless of how I feel. But this week, I took my own needs into higher consideration. When I wasn’t feeling well, I stayed home, and took care of myself. I asked for the visits up north that I desired, and got them scheduled.

Been thinking about love languages lately. I thought I knew what mine were, but I think I might have been taking on ones that were not mine, because they were my partners’ preferred language. Or perhaps mine are changing based on my current life situation. I am finding myself craving touch as a love language more than I thought I wanted/needed. Perhaps because I’ve been living on my own for three years now. And am feeling the lack of touch created by living alone. It is hard, however, to know what to do with that in existing relationships which are used to previous levels. I  feel needy or clingy if I want more touch than I used to want. I am working out what to do with those feelings, and finding a balance.

I’ve also been working on taking control of my mind. Finding tools to be able to back myself down, or cut short, emotional reactions to situations. There’s nothing wrong with feeling emotions and expressing them, but certain situations require I control those reactions so that I can continue to communicate, or do what needs done.  I am working with new tools to, in effect, reboot my mind to better deal with situations in the moment, with a success rate of about 50% so far. A good start, for me.

Happy Spring!

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