Not So Kinky

November 23rd, 2016

The intention of all these posts was supposed to be getting the things out of my brain that had been floating around. That worked mostly okay… until the election… and then other politics happened. I feel bad about that, I wanted this to be less political, and more personal. Not so much. Well, that’s not true, I’ve done a lot of personal writing, too. Not enough, I feel, but there again, is my self-judgement. I do that a lot. Not enough, not good enough, not ____ enough. Fuck that. I do what I can. It’s not always what I think I “ought” to do, it’s not always what I think “should” do, but it is what I’m able to do.

I want to write more kinky stuff, but honestly, my life isn’t really focused on that right now. Sure, we still hold class every Wednesday, but I’m hardly ever in it. Sure, he practices his whip technique, and now a wrap-shot technique. He even paddled me for his birthday, which was lovely. But, even most of our “kink” time is spent being responsible, taking care of the venue, presenters, attendees, volunteers. And that’s fine, that’s where our focus has to be right now. We’ve got to keep things running, keep our community as safe and educated as we can. I don’t even know where we’d make time to do other things.

I get to see the boy once a month, for a night. And we have a good time, cooking, eating, Netflix, and having excellent sex. But I don’t write about that in detail. Those details private and personal. Sometimes I write about things we say, or conversations we have. But again, it’s not very often.

So, I write about what’s going on. Right now, that’s the disaster that is our President Elect, local and national leadership, politics and fighting. And that’s okay. Is it sexy? Is it steamy? No, but it is a part of my journey. It is what is on my mind, most of all.

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