January 21st, 2011
Favorite BDSM related book (fiction or non-fiction).
I have not read the entirety of many BDSM related books, but I really like Douglas Kent’s Complete Shibari: Land and Sky and still need to get my own copies and write a more detailed post about them. Perhaps when the third one comes out.
(pre-publish edit)As I posted Wednesday evening, The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt is also a pretty amazing book, but more about poly than BDSM.
October 7th, 2010
Blogging, writing, screaming to be noticed – silently. Watching the numbers on the stats graph rise and fall, seeing them fall more often than rise. What am I doing this for? Who and I doing this for? Why? Every Thursday I spend hours staring at the screen, wondering what to write about, wondering how it will be taken, if anyone will even read it, will even care. Last week someone asked to reblog a post I made and I was shocked, especially given the topic. Today I’m at a loss, after spending the afternoon rambling at him over a variety of topics, none of which is “fit to print,” as they say.
I wonder about this blog, this weekly posting on a random topic. A lot of the books I read on blogging suggested posting every day, at least a few times every day, if you really wanted to have a successful blog. I have a hard time getting one post written a week, I couldn’t imagine posting every few hours. Isn’t that what Twitter is for? Let’s not even go into how I don’t even begin to use Twitter correctly. I’m not a social person, an introvert trying to join the social network.
And I’ve got this blog in two different places, splitting my audience between a WordPress sponsored blog and my personal website. It isn’t much of a site really: the blog, a bio and a couple of pictures, but I like the theme better, and some day, maybe I’ll have a book to promote or I might review products in the sidebar. Technically, I’ll have a book to promote come November. The first of my flash fiction pieces is due out the first installment of a year long anthology on October 31st if all goes as planned. They’re looking at publishing three months worth at a time, instead of it all at once.
So what do those social people talk about, those ones who blog all the time, or use twitter correctly? Their lives, details and stories taken directly every day from what they are doing currently or did last night. Sharing far more in depth than a shy anonymous blogger like me would consider safe. Safe? I share a lot of details, and while I say this is anonymous, people who know me could probably figure it out, and I have shared it with people I trust. But to share more, would feel like an invasion of privacy, and not just theirs, but mine as well. I don’t have enough to say to the public at large to fill a blog every day. I hardly ever update my non-kinky Facebook status more than once a week.
I’m not sure why I’m sharing this strange and non-kink related ramble with you, my dear readers, other than to say it’s been a scrambled kind of day. I want to share with you more often, but I don’t know if that’s possible. Though I feel that after this post, I owe you at least one over the weekend, if not a handful of tweets as well.
Let me leave you with these thoughts. Winter is coming, I need stockings and a warm coat. It’s hard being sexy when your teeth are chattering. And no one in his right mind is going to offer his cock to distract and warm you if it looks like you’re going to bite it off involuntarily.
July 22nd, 2010
I posted to the blog my mother reads today, listing what these past thirty years have gotten me. One of the listings was “A wonderful husband.” I had the urge to continue that line with “and two amazing boyfriends.” That being the simplest wording to describe the incredible men I am involved with. My best friend and I joked that it would make my mother’s head explode, and would therefore only be worth it if we could witness the event. I joked about asking my father to record it for us. It did not occur to me that his head might explode, too. I know he would not approve, he performed the ceremony where we promised to be monogamous after all, but he is far more calm and at ease with life than she is. I worry about what my family would think/does think of me. The never ending search for their approval does not drive me, but it does influence me. It is a heavy mask to wear, pretending to be what I think they want me to be, but even after 30 years, I’m not ready to put it aside.
Another thing I posted in that blog was “More books … than I care to count…” but in thinking about that, I don’t have any kink books. We do have a couple poly books, The Ethical Slut and Opening Up, and I have a climbing book that I learned knots out of. I believe we have the Tao of Sex or some such thing, as well. But no books on BDSM, D/s or Bondage. We have borrowed books here and there, Two Knotty Boys and Rope, Bondage and Power being the most notable in my mind. I don’t believe we even own The Story of O. About the only kinky fiction I own that isn’t on the computer is Wizard’s First Rule, because you know Denna makes one hell of a Dominatrix.
I had a very frustrating phone conversation yesterday, and when I got online, he was looking at shiny dresses and it cheered me up. I poked around a found a few myself, and a really scary vinyl girlscout dress, too. I also went over to Sub-Shop.com and updated my Shiny shopping list with a few little pieces. I’ve never been one for retail therapy, but with my birthday coming up, it’s fun to figure out what I might spend the money my parents sent me on, aside from a pair of slacks for work.
So, I turn 30 on Saturday, and life is not just good, but better than I could have imagined. It’s not easy, it’s not perfect, but it is wonderful and exciting and crazy and fun. I am loved and accepted by those closest to me, and the future is shiny.