50 Shades MST3K-style

February 15th, 2015

So, I went to see the premiere with 150+ members of the local community. And it was awesome. Not the movie, of course, but the experience. An entire theater of kinksters laughing, joking, and cat-calling our way through this terrible piece of writing turned B-movie.

And honestly, the movie wasn’t nearly as bad as I feared. I’ve never read the books, though I keep thinking about it. I have so much going on in my life, that I just don’t feel like taking that much time out to read them.

People were going on and on, all over social media about how terrible it is, and how abusive and rapey it is, and all of that. Given that it came out of Twilight fandom, I was not the least surprised by the obsessive stalkerness of Grey. But at least he was focused on having her consent to do things in the movie. That was nice. And while we made fun of his “flogging” and his “rope skills” and his choice of implements, the movie did a fair job of showing the ‘sensual side of kink.’  (Has ‘softer side of Sears’ in my head as I typed that.)

I do agree with one of the articles I skimmed today – presenting Grey’s kinkiness as him being “broken” and a result of his abusive early childhood does a great disservice to the idea that this lifestyle is healthy expression of our sexuality.

I was also a bit annoyed that a segment of the group I was sitting near seemed overly concerned with Ana’s body hair. So what if she doesn’t shave her pubic hair? Not everyone likes that look or feel.  I have waxed once or twice a year for the last couple years, but only for special events, and I’m not likely to do it again. Just seemed like an oddly judgmental thing for people to be focused on in an open-minded group focused on acceptance of all.

Ana’s character was hard to get a bead on. She wavered from clumsy, blushing virgin to strong, stand up for herself woman, to coy brat. Not that anyone is simple, but with all the other cliched one-dimensional characters in the movie, it was hard to figure out who she really was. I hear her inner monologue in the book was even worse, and am guessing that it was a very good thing it was left out of the movie. (Unlike Hunger Games, where it would have been very helpful for character development.)

So, not a terrible job, Hollywood. Given what you had to work with, you could have done so much worse.

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