May 27th, 2012

The other day, I was asked “Do all true masochists orgasm from pain?”

After snickerting at the word “true” for a moment, I answered masochists enjoy intense sensation. Each in their own way.

Later, I felt this deserved a bit more thought and discussion. Masochism is “gratification gained from pain, deprivation, degradation, etc.”

Midori has forever changed the phrasing in my head to be “intense sensation” instead of “pain.”  She’s right. Pain is too broad. My elbow hurts right now, I’m not getting gratification from it. But intentional intense sensations, I do. I like that deprivation and degradation are included in the dictionary definition. Emotional masochism is just as powerful.

Orgasms are not the end result of intense sensation for me, they are simply one way for me to direct the energy created. A way I enjoy, certainly, but when I’m with a partner, only when allowed, or so directed. Yes, sometimes it turns me on so much I want an orgasmic release. Yes, sometimes it is so intense I want to orgasm to channel or focus the energy somewhere. But certainly not every time, certainly not for all intense sensation.

And that’s just me. I’m sure there are folk out there that it does exactly that for. That all intention intense sensation causes them to orgasm, or to want to orgasm. I’m sure there are folk out there that humiliation causes orgasm for, too. Or sensory deprivation; I enjoy it but it’s far from orgasmic for me.


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