Negotiating with Strangers

January 28th, 2010

It’s that time again. A major kink event with play parties both nights. This time, I find myself in negotiations with someone I have never met for a scene I never imagined. It has been an interesting week, thus the lateness of this post (again), but I have a break in all the communication right now, so I can sit and reflect for a few minutes.

I rarely negotiate scenes. I rarely play outside my comfort zones, or with people I’m not familiar with. Most scenes I’m involved in start with: What do you want to do? How about x? Okay. And then we do x. We don’t discuss things in detail, we don’t talk about limits and safewords. I play with people who already know my boundaries, and if they push them, it’s with full knowledge and care. That isn’t to say I don’t talk about these things with my partners. With my Lover, there was much discussion about my experience and likes and dislikes before we ever played, but since that time, I would not really call anything we’ve done ‘negotiating a scene.’

So I find myself filling out a questionnaire, and asking questions and playing a little bit of semantics. I find myself having discussion with all my other partners around the proposed scene as well. This is a whole new experience for me and I find it all fascinating and incredible. I have had some very good, very important discussions because of all this, and it’s not even done yet. I will have more to say soon, I am sure.

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No Responses to “Negotiating with Strangers”

  1. Lover says:

    Things have heated up quite a bit since this post. The proposed scene is now off.

    I was sad at the news. I was really looking forward to the scene. I was honored to be the one most likely to witness it. It seemed like a rare opportunity was coming to fruition.

    At least some of the “very good, very important discussions” turned very bad. Everyone’s growing though.

    • pervertedimp says:

      Life happened, and I withdrew from negotiations. Life goes on and lessons are learned.

      I am looking forward to having a great time this weekend, hanging out with friends, meeting new people, and learning new things.