Sub Drop

December 3rd, 2009

I am fairly secure in what I do. I enjoy my play. I enjoy my darkness and my light. I have the highest self esteem of my entire life. As noted previously, I enjoy my marks and bruises. The thing is, though, that drop happens. To everyone.

I often get drop triggered by people expressing concern or upset. When I’m not looking, my brain twists these emotions into very negative thoughts. There must be something Wrong with me if That Person is concerned about what I have done. I am a Bad Person if they are disturbed by what I did. He is Mad at me because what I had did limited what he can do. None of these statements are true, but they stick in my head sometimes.

I come out of drop faster than I used to. I can recognize it as drop, I can remind myself that those thoughts are false. I remember the scene and how much fun it was, and how happy it made us both. I write about the scene and explore the joy of the experience. I also, whenever possible, talk to both the person involved and the person who triggered the drop. Sometimes this is the same person, but not always, and when it’s not, I also remind myself that they did not get to witness the scene and are only judging the aftermath, from their own limited point of view.

Also Chocolate. Chocolate always helps.

I seem to have more readers now. It’s about time to get comment conversations going. How do you deal with drop? What are your triggers?

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No Responses to “Sub Drop”

  1. A Nonnie Mouse says:

    I think I’ve experienced drop before without realising that’s what it was. Is it something that, for you, seems less likely to happen over time? Does it surprise you when it comes up?

    • pervertedimp says:

      I experience it less now than I did a year ago. But at that time I was also experiencing a lot of new things, and my brain was trying to process them, and sometimes failing. I rarely have sub drop anymore over purely the physical parts of scenes, which used to happen after any Really Intense scene. Now it really does take a negative emotional trigger for me to drop.
      It does surprise me, or at least catch me off guard, because I generally have thoroughly enjoyed the scene, and then next morning, BAM. If there’s a problem IN the scene, it’s generally dealt with Immediately after, thus no drop.

  2. A term that made me read more of your blog. drop …. hmmmm. Very informative.

  3. […] safety I’ve posted about Saying No and I’ve posted about how talking helps me out of Sub Drop, but communication is important in other ways, too. Clear, honest […]