May 27th, 2009
I never thought of myself as a service sub – until I met him. I was taught, growing up, to love and care for people, and help whenever I could, but I considered this a completely separate behavior set. When I met him and he insisted I do something in exchange for the scenes he gave me, it just seemed natural. Especially as it began as cleaning up after the scene. It gave me a chance to come down as well as to do something useful to thank him.
As our relationship progressed and we discovered other things I wanted from him, we discussed what else I could do for him. It was then he labeled me a service sub. I fought the label at first, comparing myself to others who self-identified that way, or insisted it was a behavior only he inspired. We do have a very unique relationship, but my desire to serve, to be useful, is evident throughout my life if I am willing to look for it.
Serving him this weekend, not in exchange for any scenes, but for his gratitude and simple expressions of his affection was a joy-filled experience.